


A Standing Appointment With The Doctor

by Caedmon



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Doctor Who References, Drinking & Talking, F/M, Gen, Hanging Out, Oh, Television Watching, This is not really a crossover, and there's swearing in here, but the fic is almost entirely about Doctor Who, hence the teen rating, no Doctor Who characters are actually present, you'll see :)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-03
Updated: 2015-09-03
Packaged: 2018-04-18 20:36:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4719584
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Caedmon/pseuds/Caedmon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Avengers have a standing appointment. Every Saturday night, they all get together to unwind, have a couple of drinks, hang out and watch their favorite show, Doctor Who. </p><p>Scott Lang (Ant-Man) has only just joined the Avengers and hasn't been around for this Saturday night ritual yet, so he and the rest of the team have the type of discussion that almost all Whovians have with each other...</p><p>Who's your Doctor? Who's your companion?</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Standing Appointment With The Doctor

**Author's Note:**

> As stated in the tags, no Doctor Who characters actually show up in this fic, but it is almost entirely about NuWho. Also, although several ships are mentioned the only couple that actually makes an appearance is Clintasha. BrOTPs ahoy, though. (I BrOTP Hawkeye x Ant-Man like it's my _job_ , and we won't talk about how far down the DoctorxRose rabbit hole I am right now. It's shameful.)
> 
> The usual drivel:  
> ~I own nothing. If I did I wouldn't mow my own grass or wash my own dishes like I just did, because that shit sucks.  
> ~Kudos and comments are more meaningful than I can tell you. One particular comment yesterday made me bouncy all day, truly.  
> ~I edited and posted this on 8 hours sleep out of three days, but I wrote it when I was clear-headed and well rested. When I go back and re-read these notes, I'm going to die of embarrassment, I know it.  
> ~Come talk to me! clintasha-n-olicity.tumblr.com  
> Thanks for reading!

“You’re hogging the entire couch, Lang,” Clint complained bitterly.

“Oh, pipe down,” Natasha admonished him, swatting the back of his head with her elbow as she passed behind with her hands full of beer and snacks. 

“No, Tasha, look!” Clint gestured to the other man at the opposite end of the couch, who looked a little bewildered. “He’s all laid out, like he owns the place!”

Natasha followed the thrust of Clint’s accusing finger towards the newest member of the Avengers with marked disinterest to find that the poor guy was sitting with his back in the corner of the couch in the exact same position that Clint had assumed in his own end, although Clint’s body was posed much more aggressively and Scott’s defensively. The new guy’s face was equal parts amusement and genuine concern that he was mucking up this, a golden opportunity to hang out and geek out with The Avengers, and Natasha had to bite back a grin. She rolled her eyes instead and tried to communicate to him silently not to take Clint seriously. 

“Tony told me to make myself at home; as long as I wasn’t tinkering with any of his stuff I should just make myself cozy.” Scott held his hands up. “I can certainly make myself smaller or just disappear if that’s what you’d prefer, Clint,” he offered.

Clint opened his mouth to answer and Natasha plucked him on the back of the head again, effectively shutting him up. “Of course he wouldn’t,” she said as she came around the end of the couch, smiling at Scott. “We’re glad you’re here.” She slid down beside Clint, settling down into his side. “Sam speaks very highly of you, and Steve does as well. Any friend of theirs is a good friend of mine.”

Scott beamed at her, grateful for the acceptance of such an influential person, and Clint gestured smugly to the redhead nestled under his arm. “See this?” he asked.

“Clint…” 

Clint ignored her. “This is how you should sit on a couch, Lang.”

“Don’t be a dick, Clint,” Natasha elbowed him and Clint grunted. 

“You offerin’ me a snuggle, Hawkeye?” Scott straightened up in mock excitement. “Do I get to be big bow or little bow?”

Natasha giggled a little when Clint stiffened in surprise and growled back at him. “I’m just showin’ you _real_ economy of space, Lang.”

Scott settled back down into his corner of the couch while Clint sulked and Natasha cackled. “Oh,” she said, reaching forward for the bowl of popcorn. “I think I’m going to have my hands full once you two realize you’re meant to be BFFs and start making friendship bracelets.” Clint grumbled when she took a sip of her beer.

“So who else is joining us?” Scott asked brightly, changing the subject and looking at his watch. 

“Never know who’s gonna stop by, it’s a standing date.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Mm-hmm,” Natasha nodded. “Saturday nights are established Doctor Who nights. At least a couple of episodes every Saturday, back to back. We’ve had some evenings turn into whole weekends.”

“Really?” Scott asked, surprised, and Natasha nodded again.

Clint flipped the remote over and started pressing buttons. “I’m giving them three more minutes, then we’re getting star- ah.”

“You waited for us this week, Birdie? Got tired of having to rewind and rewatch?” Tony chided Clint good-naturedly as he walked into the room and headed to the bar to fix his traditional bourbon. 

Clint huffed a laugh. “Not likely. Just running late because of the new guy, is all.”

Sam and Steve came in, Steve rounding the couch perpendicular to where they were sitting and nodding to Natasha while giving Clint a quick handshake and grabbing the beer Natasha had gotten him. He took Scott’s hand and shook it as he sat down. “This guy giving you a hard time?” he asked, a hint of a smile and tilt of the head indicating Clint.

“Who, Hawkeye? Nah, we’re gonna be BFFs. Natasha promised bracelets and everything. Just now, we’re working out our verbal mating dance.” Clint scowled from the opposite end of the couch, but there was no heat in it.

“So...Doctor Who, huh?” Scott asked conversationally.

“Not your scene?” Sam asked, settling into his preferred armchair and pulling the bowl of pretzels with him, earning a glare from Tony for both. “I never pegged myself as much of a geek, either.”

“Oh, no, it’s not that,” Scott rushed to assure him. “I’m an engineer. Science nerd. Believe me,” he laughed, “scientists are some geeky, geeky bastards.”

“Hey!” Tony yelled, outraged.

“It’s true,” Natasha piped up. “You and Banner, complete losers. Both of you. But we’ll keep you.”

Tony grumbled in her general direction and went back to his work at the bar. Natasha nodded at Scott reassuringly, encouraging him to finish.

Scott looked around the room at all of them, and the excitement he’d been barely containing from being a part of their group finally bubbled over. “I just never pictured... I mean, I never saw you guys...just….The Avengers have a Doctor Who night? Hawkeye and Black Widow like the Doctor? It’s wild!” He giggled excitedly. “I’m in geek heaven! Like, okay, I know, my mind is overflowing a little,” he babbled. “I want to ask you all who your favorite Doctor is, who your favorite companion, but I’m still wrapping my mind around the fact that _Captain America watches Doctor Who._ ”

“I really like Doctor Who, actually,” Steve said, reaching for a chip. “I came across it when I was catching up on everything I’d missed in the time I was in the ice. People recommended it to me over and over again, talked about how it was just fun escapism. God knew I could use some of that, so when I got tired of things being so serious around me all the time, I decided to check it out. I’ve seen all of it, I think, the old and the new, but the most recent episodes are what stick with me.”

“Why?” Scott asked, and immediately wished he hadn’t.

“Because the Doctor - the Doctor after the Time War - is a soldier,” Steve said simply. “He lost everything in the Time War, and he’s lost really big a couple of times since. I can relate to that. And he’d be nothing without his friends....I can relate to that, too.”

“And…” Tony interjected, sensing the shift in the mood and trying to bring it back, “....you missed a couple of things that tie you two together, there, Cap.”

Steve rolled his eyes. “...And the Doctor is old. Haha. You're hilarious. Happy now?”

Tony took a sip of his bourbon and smacked his mouth. “Little bit better. But you forgot that the Doctor doesn’t have a potty mouth and he likes pretty girls with English accents. I know a certain Star Spangled Man With A Plan who tends to be rather fond of beautiful ladies from the British Isles…”

Steve rolled his eyes, several other people hid their smiles behind their drinks. No one but Tony could bring that up and get away with it. No one dared. “Of course, we all know, that just like the Doctor, Steve’s heart belongs to his favorite companion, -”

Every voice in the room spoke up, but not all of them agreed.

Tony narrowed his eyes at Natasha, singling her out. “Rose, eh?”

Natasha held his gaze. “Yep.”

Tony scoffed and raised his bourbon to his lips. “I might have known you’d be a Tenth Doctor groupie.”

“I’m not,” Natasha said. Tony snorted again and she went on. “Nine is my Doctor.”

Tony dribbled a bit on his bourbon in surprise and Clint tried to hide a smile. “Come again?” Tony said.

“The Ninth Doctor is my favorite,” Natasha repeated.

“But...that doesn’t make any sense.”

Natasha raised her eyebrow challengingly. “Doesn’t it?”

“No, it doesn’t,” Tony said, and his brows knitted as he set to work trying to work out this mystery. “Ten is the good-looking, dreamboat Doctor. He’s the Doctor with the great love story, all that stuff....what’s so appealing about _Nine_? Really? _Nine?_ ” 

Clint and Natasha both nodded affirmation that yes, indeed, Nine was the correct Doctor. Tony looked Natasha up and down. “I don’t get it...is it the clothes? You guys wear the same clothes to battle, so you’re kindred?”

“Oh for God’s sake, Stark, really?” Clint burst out. “You two have been teammates and friends for four frigging years, and you really have to ask why Tasha relates to the dark, broody Doctor who was plagued with terrible memories of things he was forced to do?” 

Tony didn’t say anything right away while the wheels turned, he just kind of stared at Clint, then Natasha prodded him. “We both have red in our ledgers. We both really want to wipe it out.”

“Well I’ll be damned,” he muttered and slumped backwards.

“Then the Doctor finds redemption through a blonde who shows him he’s not what he believes he is? Make sense now?” Clint turned from a still-stunned Tony to his new BFF Scott to stage whisper, half in a conspiratorial confidence, half in a staking of a claim. “ _I’m Tasha’s Rose Tyler. She calls me Bad Wolf sometimes. It’s super hot._ ”

“Shut it, Barton.”

Natasha didn’t bother looking at him or whispering her warning, she just poked through the bowl and picked out a chip. Clint didn’t bother hiding his smile or looking at all ashamed when he settled back down next to her. Scott snorted into his hand. 

“What about you?” Sam asked Scott. “Who’s the newbie’s favorite Doctor, favorite companion?” 

“Eleven,” Scott said without hesitation. “Although I _really_ like the new Doctor.”

Tony raised his arm in salute, apparently having gotten over his shock. “Good man,” he said. “I like Twelve, he reminds me a bit of myself. He’s just so…”

“...spiky?” 

“Obtuse?”

“Galling?”

“Occasionally amoral?”

Tony looked around the room. “Well, that’s one way to find out where you stand with your team,” he said, hurt tinging his words the tiniest bit. “I thought you guys liked Twelve?”

“He’s an acquired taste, Tony,” Steve said soothingly, “and you know very well we’re all your friends. We all like you and care about you. Calm down. Smooth your feathers.”

Tony cut his eyes at Steve, and Scott watched their interplay carefully. He had a feeling that these two could get away with saying and doing things others couldn’t. That’s good to know. “Right. Well, I was going to say that I liked how conflicted he is. How he doesn’t seem to know if he’s a good man or not. I was _also_ going to say that I felt like that applied to most people, but apparently I’m the only one-”

“You know better than that,” Natasha broke in. The rest of the room nodded slowly and Tony continued. 

“Yes, and, well, he’s as funny as the others, it’s just more subtle. But this isn’t about me, we were asking the new guy. Lang, who’s your favorite companion?”

“Amy, of course.” 

Clint made a loud game show buzzer noise at this, and Scott jerked his head around to see what for. 

“Sorry, Amy’s taken,” Clint said, shaking his head. “Pick another one.”

“ _Taken_!?” Scott exclaimed, sitting up a little straighter. “You think because we’re BFFs now you get to have Amy and I don’t?”

Natasha made a face as if to bite back a laugh and Clint sat up straighter. “Amy! Me? No way. Not me. Iron Man over there has dibs on Amy Pond.”

Tony raised his hand. “Ah, yes, excuse me, but Amelia Pond is my companion.”

Scott laughed at him, and Tony raised an eyebrow. “You think she’d prefer you over me? I’m a billionaire!”

“No! No, it’s not that at all,” Scott said, leaning forward with his hands raised a little. “It’s just...I’m really surprised at you, is all.”

Tony eyed him warily. “Why is that?”

“Amy and the 12th Doctor? That’s not who I would have expected for you. I mean, come on! You’re Tony Stark!” Scott looked around the room for validation of his assessment before he continued. “I thought, surely, you’d be waving the ‘Captain-Jack-is-the-best-companion’ flag.”

Clint burst out laughing, other quiet snickers were heard from behind the necks of beer bottles, and Tony looked put out.

“Captain Jack Harkness is Tony’s personal hero,” Clint said with a grin. “They’re practically the same person.”

“We are not!” Tony snapped, his cheeks getting a little red. 

“I’ve seen you in action, pal,” Natasha grinned. “You’ve settled down now and you’re all happily coupled up but once upon a time...yeah. You would have given Captain Jack a run for his money.”

Tony scowled at all of them, grumbling.

Scott grinned to himself, enjoying this turn of events more than he probably should, and decided to ask. “Does this mean that I get to claim Amy Pond, then?”

“Not likely, bugboy,” Tony sniped at him. “She’d still prefer me.” 

Scott opened his mouth and raised his finger to answer but Steve put his feet on the coffee table. “Well, boys, considering that she gave up all of time and space for Rory Williams, I don’t think either of you stand a chance.”

Sam grinned at the two men who were still poised to argue with each other but staring at Captain America dumbly. “It’s a good point, fellas. Why don’t you two pick someone else, someone more your speed?”

Scott eyed Tony carefully, and if the tiny thought that he was essentially playing Pokemon with Doctor’s companions against Iron Man entered the back of his mind, he didn’t entertain it. At the moment, he just wanted to poke and goad the man in front of him, to pick at him until the genius, playboy, philanthropist liked him and saw him as the kindred spirits they were.

“You look like you’d be best suited for a Donna-”

“Nope!” Clint announced loudly from the couch beside him. Scott swung his head again to see Natasha shaking her head and grinning.

“Lemme guess,” he said sardonically. “Got her on reserve for Thor?”

 

Clint was taking a sip of his own beer, so Natasha answered him. “Nope. Donna is Clint’s special sweetheart. And fair warning, don’t ever trash talk her. He’s deadly accurate with every weapon known to man including nerf weapons and doesn’t take kindly to anyone saying she’s the worst companion.”

Scott was nonplussed, and swiveled his eyes to Clint. “Seriously? Donna?”

Clint nodded. “She thought she was nothing, she was convinced she was nobody special. Turns out she was incredibly special, but people still rag on her. Hits home to me.” He shrugged and Scott nodded, and Clint continued. “Plus, you know, redheads, man.” Natasha elbowed him.

“You remind me a bit of Mickey the Idiot,” Scott tossed at him. Some of the others around the room flinched, but Clint grinned.

“Good.”

“Good?” Natasha asked, spinning to look at Clint.

“Yeah, good,” he assured her. “Mickey the Idiot jumped through dimensions to save Rose, to take care of his friends. Mickey the Idiot loved Rose completely and tore through time and space to save her, plus he helped save the universe several times. I’m not going to be complain about being compared to him.” 

“ _My friends!_ ” 

A voice like thunder boomed from the back of the room and Scott jumped, spinning in his seat. 

“Thor!” 

Several people jumped up and ran to greet the huge blonde man, Natasha wrapped him in a warm hug. The god greeted them all affectionately, genuinely glad to be amongst his friends again. 

“I am sorry I am late,” he apologized, “family business had to be attended to, and I felt it appropriate to take off my armor before I came to our gathering tonight.” He paused and looked around confusedly. “This is the correct night, is it not? We watch the stories of the Doctor and Tardis on Saturday nights?” Thor’s eyes landed on Scott and he smiled amiably. “Ah! Who is this?”

“Thor,” Steve began, moving his arms in the the proper motions to make introductions, “this is our new team member, Scott Lang. He’s called the Ant-Man. He has a suit that can give him the relative size and strength of an ant.” 

Thor looked at him skeptically, and Scott felt compelled to defend himself against the golden god of thunder. “It’s a lot cooler than it sounds, I promise.”

“You are well-met, Scott Lang. I look forward to defeating many foes with you.”

Scott winced and flexed his hand tentatively when Thor let it go, mentally checking to make sure that all of his bones were still there and in working order. 

“Well, my friends, are we beginning a new tradition on our Saturday evenings?” Thor settled himself between Natasha and Scott.

“No,” Sam said, “we were just chatting about Doctor Who, actually. Which is everyone’s favorite Doctor and companion.” Sam looked at Thor curiously. “I don’t think I’ve ever been here when you have, Thor, do you like the show?”

“Oh yes!” Thor said excitedly, “very much! It’s my favorite Midgardian entertainment, actually, once I discovered it. Have to be careful, though, because it embarasses Jane quite a bit, you see.”

Scott asked politely, “Jane?”

“Yes, Jane is my girlfriend. A more amazing woman the universe has never known.” Thor got a faraway look in his eyes for a moment and chuckled. “She’s an astronomer, incredibly brilliant. There is discussion about her winning the Nobel Prize.”

Scott nodded, and Sam urged him on. “Yes, but why would that embarrass her about Doctor Who?” 

Steve, Tony and Clint exchanged a quick grin.

“Well, you see, her passion takes amongst the stars, but Jane has been bound to the Earth and observatories to study her love for years. It so happened that I ran into the Doctor when he came to court at Asgard. He owed me a favor, I’d helped him sort out a bit of a bother with an asteroid in Petine-4, so I asked him to come meet my Jane and take her for a...how you say...close-up.”

Scott was flabbergasted, and his mouth flew away with him before he thought. “Are you _crazy?_ You sent her away with _The Doctor?_ Weren’t you afraid she wouldn’t want to come back? That she’d run away with him? Wait. Which Doctor? Wait, who am I kidding? He's _The Doctor!_ Are you _crazy?_ ”

Natasha dropped her face into both hands and groaned. “Scott. He’s _a GOD._ He’s _THOR_ for heaven’s sake.” She looked back up at him. "The Tenth Doctor, pining for someone? Or a Norse god? _THINK,_ Scott."

“Oh.” Scott looked up at Thor, who was grinning broadly. “Yeah, I forgot.”

“So what happened?” Sam asked, pushing for the end of the story. “Why is it embarrassing?”

“Well,” Thor continued, “The Doctor rather liked my Jane. You all know how she is....She’s the human who absorbed an infinity gem, and who stood up to the Allfather and slapped his two sons...The Doctor was quite impressed with her. And it would seem that the Doctor landed the both of them in a rather dangerous situation, and that Jane’s sharp mind saved the day. When he tried to fly them back home to Earth, they landed in another scuffle and Jane solved that, too. So…”

“Wait a minute, wait a minute,” Scott broke in, leaning forward on his knees. “Are you saying that the Doctor’s new companion - that Clara - is your girlfriend?”

“Of course not!” Thor laughed. “My beloved Jane is at an observatory in Chile.”

“Okay,” he said on a sigh of relief.

“But they based Clara on my Jane, and she’s more than a little shy about it.”


End file.
